Friday, August 28, 2015

Oh, that feeling...

It is amazing how one thing can ruin your day. How one little word can make everything you do feel monotonous and hopeless. How it can make an easy assignment feel like the hardest test in the world. How everything gets dis-proportioned with the new lens on. It sends you spiraling down until you feel like there is no further room to go, but then you continue to plummet. In your own mind, you feel the end of time coming. Hopelessness settles in your heart for what you think will be eternity. Or that awful wonder if anything is worth it anymore. The road you are on seems to get windier and the down slope appears to grow steeper until you fear it will simply just drop off. There is that grey cloud hanging over you, getting closer, and stealing your oxygen. The rain is soft and taunting. Thunder syncs to your heartbeat, sending trembles down your being.
Those illusions, those feelings, they have a name. Depression. Some people make it a friend. Some, an enemy. Then there are others who let it decide. They give themselves up to it, allowing their life to be a constant tug o’ war. Sound is a cruel element of the pit. The good always seems so far away, like whispers in the wind, while the bad is a loud shout, striking you deep down. When you call out, no one hears, your voice is nothing but breath leaving your lungs.
Some days you fight, you get bruised and you bleed. Other days, you give up and get dragged down. Make sure you never lose sight of the one true light source in this world. Jesus. He loves you and he will never stop caring about you. God will be your help in the storm. He will hold you when you are hurting. He will heal your wounds. Make sure you hold onto those friends that love you, that will fight for you, that will never give up on you. Keep them close and let them help. Lean on one another, share your feelings, and grow in Christ Jesus together. Don’t think you are alone, because you aren’t. There are many people in the same boat as you are. You don’t need to go through the valley alone. Your Savior is there for you, your friends are there, and there many others who will help.
Whoever you are, whatever you are going through, you can do it. Jesus will be your strength. You are special to him, and many, many others. You are unique, created for a purpose that only you can have. Smile, for you are a beautiful create, made perfectly in the Lord’s image. Pain is not eternal. God’s love is. It shall pass one day, for there is always a rainbow at the end of the storm. I hope you have the courage to fight on, to smile all your days, and to hold on to Jesus. I know it won’t be easy, but you have the King of Kings fighting by your side. Jesus loves you.

With prayers,
Jade Sparks

Friday, August 21, 2015

And the Battle Begins…

Life is a battlefield. You fight or you die. But then again, everyone dies. School is one of the many battles thrusted your way. It is a battle that takes years. Twelve to be exact. Your first few years on this precious earth are preparation for it. You learn fundamentals. Skills and tactics to keep you alive, or at least provide a hope that you will live to see graduation. Each year the battle gets harder. The common soldiers are replaced with lieutenants, then sergeants, then captains, then generals. You start with nothing but you train all day. You sweat and bleed. You get bruised and battered.
But if you are a true fighter, you won’t raise that white flag. You can think about it. You can reach for it. But you’ll never raise it. That’s how I am. I have been the soldier lying in a field, blood dripping from my heart, but I never raised the white flag. I’ve thought about it. I’ve reached for the flag. I have felt the rough pole, the wood against my skin, my fingers curling around it. But I did not lift it. I fought on. I got to my knees. I rose to my feet. I stood tall. Now I fight for the last time. But I do so with a hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I fight to survive but that is not the sole purpose of the fight. I have come a long way. I do not enjoy this fight but I have made my peace with it. I will use the tools I have picked up. I shall continue to use the tactics and skills that have been taught, because when this battle ends…
…the next one begins.
Okay, yes dramatics. What can I say? I’m a writer. These essays need a good flare. How else will anyone read them? You cannot just say, “It’s a new year of school. It will be hard. But I want to learn to write.” That’s ridiculous…a disgrace to writing world. And we can’t have that now, can we? So, dear reader, excuse the dramatics, the creative license, and the sarcasm in this essay. This year is the last year of high school. I will strive for excellence in all subjects, including those I do not wish to take. I wish to learn more about writing, the editorial process and publishing. I want to work toward a career as a writer.
And to you, and all that read this essay, I make this promise. I, Jasmine K. Schmidt, will fight the good fight, in life, in school, in faith, and all else that comes my way with honor, dignity, and strength. I shall get back up when I am crushed. I know that storms may come and I know there will be times where I reach for that flag. But I will not, I repeat, will not, surrender. The battle is beginning and I have my armor on and my weapons ready. I shall make it through. I do this not for recognition, nor medals, but for the glory of the Lord. I am his masterpiece, his chosen, his precious daughter.
I take up my role as a daughter, as a writer, and as a student. This coming year will be filled with opportunity, challenges, and wonderful surprises. Throw whatever you want at me…
…I’m ready.