Thursday, January 29, 2015

Writing with Passion

Writing with emotion and passion can be hard sometimes. It's a struggle of what is enough and what it too much. Is it realistic or am I being melodramatic? Do I sound enthusiastic? Or do I sounds distant? I usually go on the heavy side...but it's because I feel it. 
Recently I wrote a scene where my character found out his little sister had died. He handled it with a few questions, some tears, and a heartache. It didn't hit him until later. Then he got the shakes, flood of tears and pain siering through his chest. He visited her grave and talked to her... apologizing, pouring his heart out to her. She was only 3. 
I found myself crying with him. My hurt literally hurt. My friend was writing with me and we both were either choking back tears or crying. We felt the pain and it would not go away. 
It seemed silly. It's just a story, right? They aren't real people. So why does it hurt so bad? Love? Oh come one, now that sounds sappy. But hey, it's true. 
We are authors. Our characters are our children. They are the result of our sweat, blood and tears. Our deepest thoughts and feelings were placed in them. They aren't just names on a page. To us, they are as real as you and I. And as are parent loves their child, we love them. We spend hours developing them, guiding them into the men and women we want them to be. Since it's love...then of course it hurts when we bury them. A creation of ours died, left us forever. There won't be a first kiss or a first love. There will be no high school graduation. There will not be any more birthdays. They are gone...and we are left with memories and a hole in our heart. 
You can ask, is it worth it? Oh yes. I can't imagine life without them. All thoes memories that couldn't have happened if they weren't there to make them. All those adventures? The mysteries uncovered? Yes, it is worth it. 
She wasn't the first to leave me...and I'm afraid she won't be the last. But that doesn't stop me from creating more. It makes me look forward to loving another child.
Now that is passion.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

My Writing Struggle

I started writing a novel a while back, my favorite so far. Then I got stuck... Here's the problem:

In another world my main character fell in love with the loveliest if girls. Later he married her and they have kids...

All of this will not be included in my novel. It cannot. But a friend and I are trying to make sure it comes true in another book, just not this one. 

He is in a life so dark and painful and I put him in another painful end...but then I decided to put him in a brighter world and leave the end to the reader's imagination. It is messy business really. Lots of changes and decisions must be made and I am afraid of messing up my "child's" life. Hilarious isn't it?

Then I get a new novel idea. I walk with it but it takes off running. I start writing but then stopped so I could focus on my current novel. Since then I have had 3 other novel ideas. I started them but left them to focus on my main novel. And it's killing me.

And of course the second of my old novel set is not complete...I had to leave it because my main novel was a school project and that one was not. I left it with one chapter to write it into completion. My desperation to finish it is getting in the way of the current novel.

It's a daily struggle. I get poems written every once and a while, but with school and other events happening writing is hard. Soon I believe I am going to get so filled with ideas, words, and passion that I will just sit down with pen and paper or my phone or computer and bleed from my soul. It will be ink from my veins, literature from my heart, and life from my lungs. It will be a picture of victory and beauty.

That is the day I look forward to.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Our Children

We authors think of our characters as our children... except some people would think us terrible parents after seeing what we do to our characters. It is a very odd relationship we have.  It's a love-hate relationship. Depends on the day, the hour, the character, the story... but hey, it's a relationship like no other.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Sweetheart, Please?

This poem is written to Psalms charrie, Ashlyn Cooper, from my mc, Malcolm Haven's point of view. It is also inspired by Anthem Lights' song, "Unlove You"

I wish I could take it all back,
Every foolish word and deed.
So many areas in which I lack,
Your advice I refused to heed.

You may hate me for all I've done,
Hey Baby I don't blame you.
But there's one thing I've never done,
I've never stopped loving you.

I can't forget you, I can't unlove you,
You're the one that keeps me going.
Honest, my heart belongs to you.
Can't you see my faith's been growing?

I'm not the man you knew last.
My intentions are honest and true.
I promise I won't repeat the past.
Darling, can we start anew?

Saturday, January 3, 2015

You Be My Princess, I'll Be Your Prince

A character of mine wrote this for his little sister. They were orphaned and he took on the responsibility for raising her.

It's just you and me now sis
I know we can get through this
I can't be a father or a mother
But I can always be you big brother

I won't be perfect, sorry to say
But I'll try harder than ever
You can trust me always, kay?
Our love, ain't no one can sever

We are in this together
A bond we'll share forever
You and me, hand in hand
Royalty in this vast land

I promise to protect you
And guide you as I know how
I'll provide and teach you too
As it is just you and me now