God Speaks To Me Through Song

The last few months have been trying. I have been living them on my knees. Life seemed to be a roller coaster of a few good days followed by a bunch of bad ones. Great news. Bad news. The cycle would repeat. I went into the storm full of hope, optimism, confidence. God had it under control. Then as I was battered, overwhelmed, and drained, it all began to fade away. I tried. But it took a lot more effort to hope and it was difficult to be optimistic. I believed God was at work, that He had a plan, and it would be good and perfect, but I could feel my belief wavering. I started attaching question marks to everything.

"You're doing something, right God?"

"This is all going to be okay, right God?"

"You've got a plan, right God?"

"God?"

It was all out of my hands. I accepted that. But the stress and worry was crushing. So I prayed. And kept praying. I talked out my questions with God. I voiced by worries. I handed over my stress. Over. And over. And over. It was a constant emptying myself. Surrendering.

Completely. It is a very vulnerable spot to be in. I'll admit it's downright terrifying. But I'm glad I did. As hard as it is to surrender, its harder to battle on your own.

Yesterday was another rough day. I was exhausted, feeling stressed again, and on the verge of tears. I had spent the night praying and crying. Morning had come too early and I was on my way to work. Usually, I listen to my favorite pop station and laugh over the hosts joking around. But that morning I felt a prompting to drive in silence and pray. So I did. Poured out my heart. Then I turned on  K-Love and the song brought me to tears. It was about going through the storm and God always being there. The troubles of this life, the pain, the unknown, was apart of something bigger that God was in control of. It was about hope and faith. Later that night, I was driving again and I prayed, "Lord, help me to believe" and when I turned on the radio afterwards, the song echoed my prayer.

God speaks to me through song and He answered me that night.